THE WISE MAN'S FEAR, by Patrick Rothfuss (4/5)

Rothfuss is a master of storytelling, in all the most frustrating ways. The prose of The Wise Man's Fear is just as good, if not better than, The Name of the Wind. Kvothe is equal parts compelling and relatable. His adventures are intriguing and fresh in the kind of behind-the-scenes style that this series has innovated.

And yet, several things were frustrating about this book. Like NotW it remains unafraid to stray from the beaten path of conventional plot, but being almost twice as long as NotW, TWMF was at times dragged down by its own meandering. With two thirds of the story told (or so we're led to believe), this book covers surprisingly little ground, to the point that it feels like Rothfuss might be rambling over trivialities to hold back the inevitable. Kvothe's learned some new tricks by the end, but he's still seemingly a far cry from the man of the present "who is waiting to die."

This was also a more political book, and Rothfuss had a few things to say, especially in the Ademre subplot, which perhaps sit too close to his heart, and consequently too close to the surface of the plot. Preachy is a strong word, but parts of the book are just that. Not unforgivable, just distracting.

For all that, I enjoyed it immensely, and cannot wait for the final installment.

The Seven Stages of my "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Reaction

Like most of the known world, I went to see the new Star Wars on Thursday night. It was a lot to process, but process it I have, and for what it's worth, I've got some things to say.

SPOILER ALERT: This concerns basically every aspect of The Force Awakens, so if you haven't seen it yet, go away.

1) Confusion: The Force Awakens hits you with a lot of exposition, but surprisingly little is answered by the time the credits finally roll.

• Who is Kylo Ren? 
• Han and Leia's estranged son.
• Why is he so pissed at Luke? 
• No idea, but he was apparently "seduced" by Gollum-meets-Herbert the Pervert...
• Also, why's he using a voice modulator? His voice is deep enough already.
• Who is Rey (besides my new dream girl)?
• Not clear--ostensibly an orphan, but we all know how these things go by now. 
• Why does she think her fam is coming back for her?
• No idea, but they're obvi not. 
• Who's Finn?
• Another orphan, I guess? I thought all storm troopers were supposed to look like this guy. 
• Who are First Order?
• Unclear/up-jumped Darth Vader fan club?
• How'd they make a sun-sucking, planet-sized death star, I mean "star killer," without the Rebellion, I mean "Resistance" noticing? 
• Also unclear, but stop asking so many questions. 
• Who's Supreme Leader Snoke?
• Unclear/Palpatine-meets-Wizard of Oz.
• Why is his hologram so big? What's he compensating for? 

2) Déjà vu: Something about this feels weird.... but I'll worry about that later. Lightspeed ahead!

3) Excitement: This is awesome. I love Finn. I LOVE Rey. Yay--Han's still a snarky badass. This action is dope. This action is ten kinds of dope. Feelz for Han. LIGHT SABER DUEL YAAAASSS GIVE ME MORE. FEELZ. FEELZ FEELZ FEELZ. ZOMG LUKE-I-WAN KINOBI. Roll credits.

4) Realization: (after approx. 45 minutes of uneasy reflection) ........ Holy shit. Was that what I think it was? Nooooo......

5) Betrayal: It was what I think it was!

1. Desert planet? Check. 
2. Messenger with crucial intel captured... by Blacked-masked Bad Guy with red light saber? Check.
3. Messenger entrusts the crucial intel... to a droid? Check. 
4. Droid escapes... into the desert? Check. 
5. Our Hero finds droid... and learns about the crucial intel it carries? Check. 
6. Storm Troopers are after our Hero and co., so they escape... in the Millennium Falcon? Check.
7. Visit to a blue collar cantina full of hard-scramble smugglers and frequented by the infamous Han Solo? Check.
8. Special delivery to a rag-tag group of X-wing flying good guys! Who wants some crucial intel? Check.
9. A planet-sized battle station threatens the galaxy... by destroying planets with its laser cannon? Check. 
10. Gotta save Strong Female Lead from Black-masked Bad Guy... on planet-sized battle station? Check. 
11. Black-masked Bad Guy kills our Hero's Mentor, who doubles as Black-masked Bad Guy's former father figure!? Check, damn you.
12. Our Hero is threatened by Black-masked Bad Guy, but ultimately wins the day by learning to harness the power of the force? Check.
13. Strong Female Lead = safe, let's destroy planet-sized battle station... by bombing its super obvious weak spot which we can shoot with missiles from X-wings? Check check check.
14. Planet-sized battle station destroyed, galaxy safe for now... but bad guys escape? To be continued? Check...

I can't believe those Mickey Mouse bastards just grafted the plot of A New Hope onto a new generation of characters and called it a day. That wasn't The Force Awakens; that was "Star Wars: A NEW New Hope." Wtf, J.J. WTF.

Abrams got me like...

6) Inner Conflict: The Force Awakens was dope as a standalone movie. Fun, poignant, exciting, intriguing, suspenseful. Superficially, a slam dunk, as indicated by its early box office trends. BUT...

As a Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens has done a disservice to the franchise by functioning as an ALMOST beat-for-beat remake of the original Star Wars plot. What am I supposed to do with that?

7a) Rejection: I hate you, J.J. Abrams. You had the chance to do what every child dreams of--tell your own Star Wars story, but you and Disney were so chicken shit scared that the die-hards would shout "This isn't my Star Wars!" like they did with the Prequels that you went with the one thing you knew they couldn't complain about--the EXACT same story that made them fans. But bravo. You managed to fool me into buying tickets to a movie I already own on DVD. Is this payback for the Prequels? Is it? Was it worth your soul? Shame on you, sir.

7b) Acceptance: Maybe (Probably) I'm taking this too seriously. I'm not without sympathy; I get there's an entire generation of O.G. fans out there who have thirsted for another dose of the original movie's magic for 40 long years. I could view The Force Awakens as a product of equal parts laziness and cowardice, or I could take it for what it perhaps aspired to be: Star Wars for a new generation. And not just a Star Wars; THE Star Wars. Giving a familiar tale a 21st century upgrade without committing the ultimate disservice of a reboot. How thoughtful of you, Mr. Abrams. You've taken a story beloved by a generation, and you've repackaged it for their kids. Common ground all around. Hurrah!

***

So there you have it. Currently, I am split between my last two options: rejection and acceptance. I refuse to hate this movie for all its flaws, but I also refuse to love it despite them. After all, can you really blame Kylo Ren for wanting to be just like Grandpa Vader? Should we condemn him for thinking that if he dresses in black leather and uses a voice modulator just like his old man, people will start to treat him like the Sith Lord he aspires to be? My heart tells me... not yet. In fact, I think there's a third option that fits my feeling best: 

7c) All Of The Above. Final answer, Regis. I'm hugely disappointed that Abrams and co. leaned so heavily, so very heavily, on the plot of A New Hope. The saving grace of this movie was the A++ stable of new characters, Rey, Finn, Poe, etc., and I believe they could have carried their own story, but now we may never know, because Disney was too scared to bank on an untested product.

And yet, I understand why they did it. The Force Awakens is an obvious response to the Prequel Trilogy, which, though it was by no means perfect, has been unfairly ridiculed for over a decade because it dared to tell a different kind of story in the Star Wars universe. So with Episode VII, Disney chose to go back to basics, to make a safe bet that would earn out their $4 billion investment. Frustrating, but understandable.

So long story short, I've decided to hold off on ultimate judgment until the new trilogy stands complete. Or, at least until I've seen Episode VIII, which will soon begin production under the working title, "Star Wars: The First Order Strikes Back."

Not really. At least, I hope not really. But actually, maybe. Dammit, I give up.

DAREDEVIL Season 1; or, Cleaning the Clichés from the Steets of Hell's Kitchen

Oh DAREDEVIL, where do I begin? I'd ask you to show me the way, but then we'd have a blind leading the blind situation.

I suppose the best and most appropriate way to start this review would be by saying I LIKE superheroes. And who doesn't? Superheroes, in whatever form, be it print or digital media, are almost always a fun time, and though that seems a simple analysis, it's the core reason superheroes are dominating the box office right now. Not everybody is looking for the answers to this week's existential crisis neatly packaged into an hour and forty-five minutes of hard stares, subtext, and timely orchestration. Some people just want to have a good time; some people just want to watch chaos from the safety of their couch cushions.

On My Excitement Over an Upcoming MTV Series.... Wait, What? THE SHANNARA CHRONICLES

When I was in high school, the administration suffered through a brief experimental phase that corresponded to my junior and senior years. During this trial by fire, they subjected the students to several "non-traditional" learning and enrichment courses, including family style lunches which leaned heavily on bagged salad and microwave chicken, and though the program as a whole would die out after two years, there were a few initiatives within the movement which weren't half bad.

Quote of the Week for 8/25/15

"The most dangerous phrase in the language is 'we've always done it this way.'"
-Rear Admiral Grace Hopper

TRUE DETECTIVE Season 2: Frankly Apoplectic

Let me start by saying this season of TRUE DETECTIVE was doomed to fail; nay, destined. Expectations were too high across the board, from #truefans who thought the series creator, Nic Pizzolatto, was the second coming of William Faulkner, to the #haterz who demanded Pizzolatto put the cap back on the can of existential worms he opened with his bayou barn burner last spring. Both camps were inevitably disappointed by Season 2, but like I said, that was bound to happen. So what did we really get from the sophomore effort of television's most controversial ride-along drama?

THE MARTIAN, by Andy Weir (4/5)

http://goo.gl/rkcxay

4.5 stars, really. Would have been 5, but I'm trying to be more selective with my perfect scores.

Anywho, this book was incredible on several counts. First and foremost is the science. Never before have I read hard science fiction so accessible, and the humor went along way toward that, but honestly the scientific applications just felt real throughout. The problems were consistently variable and escalated in intensity, and the solutions were always equal parts genius and digestible simplicity. Does that make any sense? If Andy Weir were writing this review, it probably would.